On the Rox Read online

  Copyright © 2020 by Kat Addams

  All rights reserved.

  Visit my website at: www.kataddams.com

  Cover Designer: Lori Jackson, Lori Jackson Design, lorijacksondesign.com

  Editor and Interior Designer: Jovana Shirley, Unforeseen Editing, www.unforeseenediting.com

  No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  ISBN-13: 978-1-7331523-3-4

  For all the women who have survived and especially for those who didn’t.

  Contents

  One

  Two

  Three

  Four

  Five

  Six

  Seven

  Eight

  Nine

  Ten

  Eleven

  Twelve

  Thirteen

  Epilogue

  Playlist

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  OTHER BOOKS BY KAT ADDAMS

  WHILE THIS BOOK IS COMEDY, IT CONTAINS A SLIGHT UNDERLYING THEME ABOUT OVERCOMING DOMESTIC ABUSE THAT MIGHT BE SENSITIVE TO SOME READERS.

  One

  Jay

  What the hell?

  I awoke to the sound of slamming car doors, hysterical laughter, and a faint bass line thumping from the unkempt home next door. I grabbed my robe, tied it around my waist, and shuffled upstairs to investigate this rude awakening. My body had finally adjusted to US time from Melbourne time, and now, this chaos would have me tired again. If I didn’t get any sleep, I would not be productive at my new job tomorrow.

  “I shouldn’t have moved here,” I mumbled to myself as I lifted my finger between the blinds of my guest room window and slowly peeked out toward my neighbor’s home.

  A line of cars trailed down his driveway. I shifted my feet and lifted the blinds higher. The music blared from his backyard, where a circle of people sat around a firepit. I squinted my eyes, trying to make out their shadowy figures. A tall, older man stood, talking with his hands. He circled his hips in a rude gesture.

  That must be the bloody wanker who is my neighbor.

  I watched his animated charade and listened to the laughter that carried up to me in my guest room as I stood to eavesdrop like a creepo. I pressed my free palm to my eyelid and rubbed. I was about to head back to bed to try to fall back asleep, but something—or someone—caught my eye. A beautiful, dark-headed woman, covered in tattoos, stood at a window directly across from me, staring straight into my guest room.

  “Shit!” I dropped the blinds and took a step back.

  Fuck.

  I held my breath and lifted the blinds again. The woman still stood there, looking toward my window. I didn’t have the best eyesight, but even from here, the view of this gorgeous moonlit goddess sent warmth tickling right up my spine, settling into my chest. My heart raced as she tilted her head to the side and put her hand to the window.

  I kept as still as could be, watching her watching me. My breaths shallowed and softened as if she could somehow hear me and confirm that I was again spying on her.

  She smiled out into the darkness and slowly slipped off her strappy dress, one shoulder at a time. I blew out a quiet breath and lifted the blinds even higher. She ran her hands up and down her body, pausing only to caress her petite breasts that fit snug into a black lace bra. Her leopard-print knickers didn’t match, but I had the feeling she didn’t care about such trivial matters, and neither did I. My cock thickened under my robe as I watched her swaying in front of the window, teasing me. She unclasped her bra with one hand, and with the other, she reached out beside her to flick the light switch off.

  “Oh, damn it!” I muttered.

  I stood at my window, waiting and wanting more. Finally, I puffed my chest out and gathered my balls to send the signal for her to keep going. I pulled the string on the blinds and opened them up entirely, waiting in the dark for her to return. Surely, she could see me standing in the night. The full moon basked my room in a soft blue glow, lighting up my pasty-pale arse wrapped up in a stark-white robe.

  But she didn’t come back. My eyes drifted down toward the man in the backyard. He moved about the yard, acting out a story and putting on a show, just as the woman had put one on for me. I desperately hoped that wasn’t her husband or boyfriend or else I had moved next door to trouble. I pulled my robe around me tighter and sighed. I would need to go back to bed and rub one out before I could fall asleep again. Visions of the inked goddess moving her hips back and forth, teasing me, whirled in my head.

  I reached up to close the blinds before the light in her window flicked on again, and there before me stood a gigantic inflatable T. rex.

  I screamed and stumbled backward, falling on my arse. It wasn’t my sexiest moment, but then again, neither was whatever the hell she was playing. I picked myself up, crawling back to the window, and peeked over the ledge. The T. rex gripped its sides with its tiny arms and threw its head back in sharp-toothed laughter. Her wide smile poked out from underneath the dinosaur’s jaw as she laughed so loud that I swore that I could hear her voice.

  I shook my head and smiled. T. rex made a humping dance and waved good-bye. I waved back, still confused over what had happened. I looked in the backyard again and watched as the dinosaur made its entrance into the crowd. The laughter grew wild.

  Tomorrow, I would pick up earplugs and maybe even introduce myself to whatever crazies lived next door.

  “Well, well, well. Look at what the kangaroo dragged in!” My brother, Aiden, clapped me on the back. “Let me show you the team.”

  I shook hands with everyone as Aiden introduced me to my new employees. I had co-owned five restaurants back home in Melbourne, but here, in the Southern states, the service industry was almost entirely different. People were a lot less laid-back, even in the South, which I’d thought was known for its drowsy state of mind.

  “Ready to get started? I’ll show you the ropes. You can tell me all I’m doing wrong,” Aiden said.

  He hadn’t aged a day since the last time I saw him years ago.

  “Ready as I’ll ever be.” I shrugged, following him to his back office.

  He motioned for me to have a seat while he rummaged through his desk. “Now, now, you’ve had a two-year break! Traveling the world, eating just about every cuisine imaginable, and banging exotic women. Aren’t you ready to settle down yet? You know the cuisine here is amazing—because I’m in charge of that—but the women here … well, I’ve never in my life met any like them. They don’t grow them that way back home.”

  “Who said I was banging exotic women? Do you think there are arse-loads of exotic women down in the catacombs of Paris or the German war museums?” I set my laptop bag on his desk and plopped myself into a chair.

  “Hmm. I guess not.”

  “Well, there are! I just didn’t bang them.” I folded my arms behind my head and leaned back, grinning at his mind-blown expression.

  “What! Why the bloody hell not? You are tall, handsome, and have an Aussie accent. Do you know how many knickers I’ve gotten into just by my voice alone? I could say the stupidest things, and women hop right on me for a ride! I once told a woman how to bathe a monkey, and she unzipped my pants and gave me a blow job. She told me that I’d better not stop talking, so I kept on and on about bathing monkeys.”

&nbs
p; “What do you know about bathing monkeys?”

  “Nothing, but it got my dick sucked, so I just said whatever the hell I could sputter out.” He shrugged. “I’ll take you out on the town this weekend though. Lots of things have changed around Outer Forks since you were here last. We’ll go out, so I can give you a proper welcome. Let you whisper in some of these wild women’s ears.”

  “Just how wild are we talking here? It’s been far too long. I could use some fun, but I’m afraid my skills are lacking these days.”

  “How long is too long?” Aiden whispered as if anyone else could hear us over the loud noises coming from the kitchen. He finally found what he had been looking for in his desk and motioned for me to follow him back out into the hall, clutching a notebook in his hand.

  “Two years.”

  He sucked in his breath. “Not since … Elena?”

  “Nope.”

  “Mission number two: get Jay laid. Mission number one is still here. Help me get this thing off the ground, so we can open another on the other side of town. We’re already doing pretty well, but you’re the expert. I’m keen to hear your thoughts. Maybe you can bring some fresh ideas to the table. Literally.” He handed me the notebook. “Here’s a start. Look through this.”

  I nodded, taking the notebook and tucking it under my arm as we entered the kitchen through swinging doors. I glanced at the shiny appliances, the immaculate prep areas, the massive stoves. The familiar scent of charred meats, sautéing vegetables, and butter … lots of butter, and it gave me the first hint of comfort I’d felt in a long time.

  “My thoughts right now are that Mum and Dad would be proud of you, brother.”

  “I think so too.” He smiled. “It’s good to have you home, Jay. Even if this isn’t our true home, I’m glad you’re back with me.”

  “It’s our home now. A fresh start,” I assured him.

  The look of sadness that crept across his face disappeared into optimism as we made our way around the kitchen.

  I spritzed myself with cologne before heading out the door and into my Uber. I hoped I would get lucky tonight. The last time I had touched a woman was a time I wished I could forget. Elena, my ex-wife, was a coldhearted ice queen. When I had tried to make love to her on our anniversary, she’d told me she ate too much at dinner and felt too bloated to mess around.

  Never in my life had I ever felt too bloated to fuck. I had eaten so much at times that someone would practically need to roll me out of the restaurant, but rest assured, I could still fuck like there was no tomorrow. My dick worked under any circumstances—any and all of them, except one, and that had been the day after that failed anniversary. I had overheard her on the phone telling someone else—not me, her husband—that she loved them. That was the end of that chapter in my life. We had parted quickly and easily, going our separate ways that same day I found out. I hadn’t known it then, but that was only the beginning of the worst week of my life.

  “Good evening,” the driver said as I buckled into my seat.

  I politely made conversation, but my mind was stuck elsewhere. My nerves shook as I thought about how to let a woman know I was interested.

  Should I wink?

  Buy her a drink?

  Tip my chin in the air?

  Slide my finger back and forth into my other circled palm in a rude gesture?

  I hadn’t had to think of these things in what seemed like forever. The last time I had even glanced at a half-naked woman since Elena was that crazy lady next door—the T. rex.

  I had slept upstairs in the guest room every night since she flashed me her lingerie—and her costume. My blinds remained open as I waited, hoping and maybe even begging. There was something about the way she had looked out into the dark and straight into my window that seemed familiar. She seemed familiar. Maybe she had been a guest at the restaurant before, but surely, I would remember someone as uniquely beautiful as her.

  Even with her wild behavior and edgy tattoos, she reminded me of an exotic goddess. Not that I had anything against wild behavior and edgy tattoos. I only knew the calm and quiet type. I had grown up in a peaceful home with all of the traditional memories. My mother, Scarlett, and my father, Herb, had given everything to Aiden and me. There hadn’t been many bad times back then. Not until the accident anyway.

  At the end of my divorce week, Aiden had called one morning to tell me that our parents were involved in a car wreck after leaving their restaurant the night before. It was rare that they were ever apart, and my sole comfort from the whole tragic situation was that they had been together when it happened. I wouldn’t believe in soul mates or any of that bloody divine-energy bullshit if it wasn’t for my parents. They were perfect examples of what true love looked like in a relationship. Even after over thirty years together, they had never lost that sparkle in their eyes for each other.

  I rested my head against the cold glass of the car window and wondered if I would ever find my person. My mind wandered into philosophical territory as I thought about the concept of soul mates. Sure, my parents were definitely each other’s soul mate, but maybe humans didn’t have only one person. Perhaps there were a lot of soul mates for us out there.

  Better odds that way, I mused, taking comfort in my simple logic.

  Although if there were lots of soul mates for me out there, I hadn’t stumbled into any yet, and I had been everywhere. I had traveled the ends of the earth, and not once had I run into anyone who made my insides bubble up into my chest or my heart pound and flutter. I hadn’t even felt that with Elena. She had been a safe pick for me—or so I’d thought. Her calm and quiet demeanor only hid something sinister underneath. I shivered in my seat, trying to block out how emotionless she had been toward the end of our marriage.

  What a waste of my years.

  Now that I was thirty-two, I yearned to settle down. I had done everything I wanted to do in life, except start a family.

  “Will you be getting into any trouble tonight?” the driver asked, interrupting my pity party.

  “I sure as hell hope so.” I sat up in my seat and shifted my back, suddenly aware of my emotions showing in my pouty lips and furrowed brows.

  “Well, it’s poetry night at The Lounge. I’m not sure what kind of trouble lurks there, but it’s probably eyeball deep in baggage and whining about smashing the patriarchy. You sure that is where you want to go?” he asked.

  “Ah, poetry night sounds interesting. Maybe I’ll learn something.”

  “Whatever you say. Just don’t call me to take you home after a hippie with a man bun makes you cry and question your manliness—or worse, a woman.”

  What the fuck is wrong with this guy?

  I wanted to teach him a thing or two about women, but I kept my mouth shut. I didn’t have the energy to argue.

  “Thanks. I’ll be fine.” I hurried out of the car as soon as he pulled up to the curb.

  The neon lights of the bar’s sign flickered in the dark.

  “The Lounge,” I muttered under my breath.

  I stepped inside the dimly lit entry. The smell of alcohol that hung heavy throughout the hall beckoned me to come, sit, and make myself cozy with a whiskey. For a dingy dive bar that I would typically pass quickly by, I felt an odd sense of comfort as soon as I entered the building. I pushed my way through the narrow hall, packed away with the grungiest of people, and stopped in my tracks as soon as I reached the bar.

  Straight across from me stood two inflated T. rexes onstage, reading aloud to each other. I instantly recognized the face of my neighbor. At least, I thought it was her. Her wide smile and dark eyes stared out from under a gigantic dinosaur jaw as she spoke to her friend, a woman whose skin was the same color as the way I took my coffee every morning.

  Bloody delicious!

  If the beauty from next door was taken, maybe her friend wasn’t. I bit my lip and watched the two dinosaurs go at it, my dick stirring in my pants. I shoved my hands in my pockets and groaned. It had been far too lon
g for me if dinosaurs were getting me going.

  “Your claws dug deep,” my neighbor said.

  “Yours dug deeper,” the other dinosaur added.

  “You bared your teeth at me. Ready to pounce, making me small, insignificant, already dead inside.”

  “Extinct. You were extinct to me.”

  “And now, you are too.” My neighbor reached around the back of her friend and let the air out of her costume, making a long-drawn-out hissing noise.

  A crowded table in the corner rose to their feet, clapping and hollering as the two dinos hobbled offstage and toward them.

  Aiden came up behind me, pulling me toward two empty spots at the bar, whiskeys already waiting. He leaned down to shout into my ear over the crowd’s cheers, “I told you they don’t make them like that back home.”

  “I’m not sure what I just witnessed.” I ran my hand through my hair and shook my head, trying to make sense of everything.

  “I’m not either. But you need to get laid, and this is the best spot. These women are crazy in bed. Also, maybe in the head. But you’re looking for a one-night stand, right? Just a little fun to rev your engine back up.”

  I settled into my chair, sipping my whiskey and glancing at the table in the corner. The dinosaur stripped herself of her costume, confirming that she was definitely my neighbor. Her black hair fanned out over her bare shoulders. She wore a tiny sleeveless shirt and a skirt that left little to my imagination. I wondered if she hid any more tattoos under there.

  “Earth to Jay! Where are you at? Don’t tell me you’re still jet-lagged.” Aiden snapped his fingers in front of my face, bringing my attention back to the conversation.

  “Right. No. Jet-lagged. Yes. I mean, yes, I’m pretty tired still from the moving and all. I probably won’t be out long. I’m not sure I can swing a one-night stand on what little sleep I’ve had.”

  I returned my gaze to the corner table, searching for the man I had seen with her next door. He wasn’t anywhere in sight. Only a group of gorgeous women sat around her table.